30 Things About Me

Before I start, I clarify that the order of the list is completely random, not organized in the order of importance.

1, Photography

           I really like photography because it is very intense. In a very short period of time, thousandths and hundredths of seconds, I should adjust my camera as I want, and capture the moment I want to grasp. I have to think and carefully pick the moment I want to use, and the scope I want to focus, so that I could get the wanted image that I had in mind. In that my photography is quite ‘meta,’ since I believe photos should be aware that they are photos, and they should truthfully tell people what the photographer have felt or thought or saw at the moment. What I focus on is what I have in mind ‘at the moment’ and tries to depict that through photography. Photography is not mere evidence or records that objectively shows ‘the reality,’ but means to cherish and express the subject viewpoint of the photographer’s life, world, and what he or she is. I believe that is what Marc Riboud, my favorite photographer, meant in his famous saying, “Taking pictures is savoring life intensely, every hundredth of a second.”

2. Poetry

           Writing poetry is also a very intense activity. I enjoy the process of painstakingly organizing the words at right places as if I do in organizing the composition of the photos. I should sincerely indulge myself into the experiences or concepts that I want to present while writing poems. If I don’t, the poem loses its meaning and remains superficial. That is why I only write poems in Korean, as I am not that familiar with English yet to consider all the nuances and cadences of words. Maybe I will try writing poems in English later when I get more comfortable with it, but not yet.

3. Coffee

           I am indeed a caffeine addict. I cannot live without coffee even for a day. At school, coffee serves more of means of survival rather than delicious drink. Many people call my cold, bottled coffee ‘death potion’ since it is very strong for most people, and bitterness is strengthened as it is cooled. Although I cannot manage to drink delicious coffee at KMLA, what I really like about coffee is its deep bitterness that softly seeps into my tongue and throat. It should be mild at the start, but gradually become bitter and leave long-lasting aftertaste. Thus my favorite coffee is Cappuccino. Its tender foam on the surface turns to milky softness as it moves from my mouth to the throat, and it leaves profound aftertaste of coffee bean and cinnamon.

4. Mint

I eat Altoids Spearmint every day. I drink Mint Chocolate when I go to Hollys, and eat Andes chocolate. I love the aftertaste of mint that is somewhat spicy and refreshing, as it refreshes my mouth as well as my head.

5. Mom

           My mom and I are more like friends rather than mother and daughter. I talk very casually to my mom and she does too. Strangely, my mom at the same time is very strict when she thought I am going against what she wanted me from me. However, I am also a very stubborn in following my own will. That nature of our relationship actually caused many fights and clashes, especially during the middle school years. As I started to live in the dormitory, we became more comfortable with each other and ceased to fight. Now she respects my decisions and the path that I want to take. I also understand the concerns of my mom, and even thank her, for her harsh scorns and criticisms made me to think harder and come up with my own reasons and explanations better. That even helped me to not have much difficulty in counseling sessions: I have never met anyone who criticized my decision severer than my mom.

6. Buddhism

           Although I am an atheist, I was deeply influenced by Buddhism, mainly as a way of viewing the world. I do not literally believe in karma, but I think karma is meaningful in that it represents that a person is made up of various past events and encounters, and the present will also make a future self of that person.

7. Literature

           What I believe in human nature is that there are parts that can be studied through ‘sciences’ and parts that cannot. I think literature deals with the parts that cannot be studied through ‘sciences,’ and that is what I like best about literature. I also like the moments of delight when I encounter an insightful literary expressions. Reading literary works are excursion to me, traveling the parts that I have never known, or only had slightest idea about.

8. Cheese

           Brie is my favorite one, but I like all cheese that I have tasted. These creamy substances really make me go crazy. I usually eat Brie or Camembert when I go home, but I also love fresh Mozzarella with tomato. Crackers often make a good company with cheese, but I find fruit is better. The latest combination I liked was Brie with tangerines.

9. Beer

           I usually drink beer with my mom, since my dad is almost allergic to alcohol. She needed a company so she once asked me to try, and I liked it. The first beer I tried was Cass. Cass is quite mild and soft, so I asked my mom that I want something more sparkling. Therefore my mom and I tried another, and this process went on and on. I did not drink beer that often, of course, and I always drank with my mom. Finally we found our best to be “Weihenstephaner Hefe Weissbier.” It has a very soft bubbles that pleasantly goes down the throat, and hardly bitter in taste.

10. Drawing(painting)

           I usually draw or paint to express things that require image rather than language. I do not paint well, but I still like the feeling of brushstrokes and pencil marks when I draw or paint something on a piece of paper. What I usually draw is self-reflections expressed in surreal settings, self-portrait, or stuffs on my desk.

11. French

           I first started to learn French in KMLA because I wanted to be a diplomat, and French is important language in diplomacy. Although I found that I am not good at and do not like diplomacy and debate tactics, I still liked French, and French has been the subject that I always got good grades. Its grammar rules and pronunciation is complex and delicate, and that spurred my challenging spirit. The fact that many of the writers and artists that I like are French also makes me study the language harder. Now in the senior year, I am reading ‘Le Petit Prince’ and ‘Marcellin Caillou’ in my French class. Preparing for class takes me a very long time indeed, about three times longer than it did in the last two years, but reading the books I like in its original language is worth the effort.

12. Samulnori

           I always wanted to learn Samulnori since I was very young. Thus I became a member of Samuchim, a Samulnori club in KMLA as a buk(Korean traditional drum) player. Playing buk requires a lot of physical strength compared to other instruments, because buk should be hit very hard to make a profound sound. Since buk plays a role similar to a bass guitar in a band, buk is very crucial in making the sound harmonious, but at the same time not so conspicuous compared to kkwaenggwari(a small gong), Janggu(an hour-glass shaped drum) and Jing(a larger gong). The rhythm of Buk is not as intricate as leading kkwaenggwari or Janggu, and not that powerful as jing. However, without buk that wraps all sounds of the instruments, the sound remains weak. To make the sound profound and harmonious, buk is really important. I also like the sound of buk because it resembles heartbeat. That makes me immersed in the moment when I am playing buk, and express the ecstasy I feel.

13. Designing

           I think designing is transforming the abstract idea or concept of a product or a slogan into visible images and composition so that everyone could understand the idea easily. A design should be direct, concise, and at the same time, pretty. That is why designing is vexing but at the same time interesting. These are some of the designs that I did last year.

14. Slowness

           I am very slow in doing almost everything. I usually think ‘too much’ and my thought goes on and on, until I find the most appropriate idea that could solve my questions. I cannot just create a BS, especially when I write. I usually try hard to meet the deadline. But when my results at the time are below the quality that I want, I rather submit the work later and get my points deducted.

15. 702(L): Left side of room 702

           The first semester of my junior year, I spent a lot of time in room 702, where my best friend Jingyeong lived. There, I became almost a part of that room and 702 kids called me the seventh member of 702. Spending that much time in that room, I even became really close with Isabella and Sunnie, who were roommates of Jingyeong. After spending one semester that close, going on vision trip together, and taking many classes together, we four became best friends. Now, I cannot imagine myself without them. Strangely, we meet frequently even when we do not intended to, and naturally have conversation very often. In the moments I feel dreadful and the moments I feel enlightened, I never feel that lonely because there are Jingyeong, Sunnie and Isabella who are ready to listen to me.

16. 602(R): Right side of room 602

           Last semester, I lived in room 602, and met Chunghyun and Jee as roommates. We never expected we would be a very good company, since we did not seem to share any common interests from the outside. However, just after about a week, we felt really comfortable with each other, and became really close. We three were outgoing at the outside but had really timid parts inside. We three all were the oldest kid of our families, and we all had many concerns that we did not tell many people. By talking together and sharing our concerns, we were able to soothe disconcertedness. We even helped one another academically, by sharing notes and giving short lectures about the subjects one needed help and one knew better. I cannot meet them very often this semester since I hardly take any classes together with them, but we still remain good friends.

17. Epik High

           Epik High, a.k.a. Tablo, Mithra Jin and DJ Tukutz, are my favorite musicians. Not only because their rap skills are great, their lyrics and beats are very keen in observing the things that we usually do not care about. I especially like their fifth album Pieces, part one. This album uses imagery of urban daily lives that is very common around us but we do not identify that seriously. The track I like most in this album is “Ignition.” I like the metaphors of light and darkness alternating as the focus moves from inner pain and outer events. The part of the lyric I like the most is “everything fades away into a shade of gray / the darkness of the heartless enslaves the day / and i pray to save you but it′s safe to say / au revoir ce soir je suis désolé”

18. Demian

           Demian is the book of my life. Like Sinclair did in Demian, I was able to break out of the egg that kept me inside that limited scope of thoughts. I then clearly saw what I cared most was not what I thought by myself, but more likely what adults told me to do. That is why I chose to focus more on what I really like, such as photography and literature. I even decided to move back to international field.

19. Korean

           I personally dislike the idea of unconditional love and pride toward one’s nationality. However, ‘Korean’ is a very important part of consisting me. It refers to all: my nationality, my mother tongue, my homeland, its history, and all cultural heritages in it. I believe one’s national or cultural identity is meaningful in that it is a part that consists oneself. Not because one’s nation is to be proud of, or national pride is obligatory, but the culture one was born and raised in has had shaped that person. Denying that identity is going against what one is, and all the background that one was raised in. Korean language and culture is indeed profound. I especially love the sound-friendly nature of the language, that you can actually write almost exactly as you say, and this creates enormous possibility of expressing five senses and variations of adjectives and adverbs that are similar but different in nuances and cadences as you speak.

20. Philosophy

           What I like about philosophy is similar to what I like about literature. It questions the most basic parts of human nature that we often consider as common sense. I think I especially like philosophy because this kind of thought process is what I always do. Questioning and alienating the concepts I believed to be true, I break down what I thought of, and try to explain the flow of thought and behaviors.

21. Stubbornness

           I am very stubborn. I have been stubborn since I was really young, and I always fought with my mom or severely scolded. Strangely, this clashes made me to develop my own arguments and philosophy more intricately and well-organized so that I would be able to argue my stances even more stubbornly. I do not obey what I think is against my philosophy, as you could see in my winter vacation essays. I even argue against teachers when I do not think it is right, and I indeed did not do any homework during the last semester’s AP English literature class. Although this stubbornness makes me tired sometimes, I like my style, in that at least I know what I want to do and what I am doing in this world full of uncertainties.

22. Grandfather

            My mother was the only child of my grandparents, so they cherished my sister and me endlessly. Our names were given by our grandfather, and that quiet, hard-looking guy always showed smile to us. Although he died 5 years ago, he still remains as a powerful mystery to me. Many relatives say that I resemble my grandfather a lot, and praise him as wise, able person. This makes me feel ambivalent: I am grateful to hear such comments but I am not really sure if I deserve those, and honestly, I do not remember clearly about him. Still, I remember the shining eyes of my grandfather while in his patient gown and breathing faintly.

23. Grandmother

           Although my grandmother is now over 70 years old, she still runs her business. She always cleans the rooms and facilities. She never gets tired, and she even practices writing Korean and English characters. She did not have much education when she was young, but she is very keen in perceiving things, and open-minded. I always carry the small note in my wallet that my grandmother wrote me after practicing writing. That gives me strength and courage to keep on going, and reminds me of unconditional love that she gives to me.

24. My name

          I hated my name when I was young. I wanted to have pretty, girlish name rather than mine which was unisexual. I had always seen boys that have same name as mine, and felt dreadful about it. However, as I grew up, I realized that my unisexual name did not give any bad impression, but rather neutral one as it was not girlish. I also liked the meaning of the name: ruler of the abilities. Since it is consisted with very simple Chinese characters, my name as a whole means that able person is the one who approaches the matter simply and clearly.

25. Low-tone

           My voice is very low, sometimes even lower than boy’s. My voice turned this way since middle school, where I had to fight with troublesome boys that tried to make fun of me. I learned a lot of swear words, and fiercely screamed at them. Although I did not like the change in my voice, since it created many misunderstandings, I now like my voice. How much awkwardness could be raised if my voice was high? My stubborn, a bit nonchalant, loud-voiced nature mixed with high-tone voice would have definitely been disastrous.

26. My sister, Jaekyeong

           I have a younger sister who is three years younger than me. While I like studying, reading books and writing stuffs, JK does not. She is more interested into practical things like managing money and fashion trend (not that I do not care about clothes but she is really into ‘trend’ and knows much more than me). Because of this difference, my existence had been a great burden to JK. I am always sorry for that, and not try to interfere into her world. She is pretty mature for her age in understanding me and our parents, but she is still very young when it gets to grades and teachers and friends. She is still a very bright kid, and especially has great artistic talents, but she gives up when some kind of pressure pushes her to turn her pure interest into her future career. I am waiting for her to find some things that she want to do at the end.

27. Mochi

           Many people tell me that I resemble ‘mochi,’ a Japanese rice cake that is very white and soft and chewy. Similar expressions that people also found to be similar to me are: rice cake, dough, and dumpling—foods that consist mainly of carbohydrate.

28. Skin trouble

           Although my skin appears fairly untroublesome, my skin is actually very oily. Thus during ‘hell weeks,’ all my potential pimples pop out, only around my nose and forehead. Those parts turn red, and then yellow, making me ooze the pus out of those tiny volcanoes. This oozing process really sores, and even looks bad.

29. Brain paralysis

           Whenever I write, I encounter this paralysis. It is the situation when I think too much that I cannot write anything. Everything seems to not make sense or I cannot organize my thoughts into understandable language. Then my brain stops, as if it is suffering from paralysis, and then I should rest. Unfortunately, I am suffering from this phenomenon very often this semester since I take too much writing-reading classes. However, I cannot stop to rest, because there is basically no time. Ethics and Ideologies plus AP English Literature plus AP World History plus French literature plus Debate and argumentative essay plus World Literature plus SAT French equals Hell.

30. Sleep

           I desperately yearn for sleep, but there are thousands of miles to go before I sleep. Yay. I still have to prepare my French literature presentation, study for the vocabulary quiz, read Araby and M. Butterfly, research for next debate class, study for the World History quiz, write cover letter and three peer letters!